Super Dynamite Fishing unleashes your inner Bubba

Spoiler alert! In the realm of dumb fun games, things don’t get much dumber or funner than Super Dynamite Fishing. If it’s meant to be an ironic comment on redneck culture, the developers failed. This is a celebration of all things beer and Bubba. Best Buy.

I don’t know if it was the fact that I was raised Baptist Preacher’s Kid (BPK) or the fact that my father’s family migrated to Austin from one of the smallest towns in East Texas, but it seems to me that my childhood centered around Jesus and killing things. My mother was a Presbyterian debutante from Cincinnati, so she did her best to shield me from the fact, but, sadly, once you got past my grandmother, her side of the family was Ohio farm stock. Tractors and shotguns didn’t seem to foreign to their world either.Whenever we went to visit my grandparents, sooner or later the discussion would turn to the size of fish, and the number of points on the buck in the back of one of my uncle’s pick up trucks. Every spring my grandfather would slaughter the kids. Not children. Baby goats. But it was pretty traumatic since I always made them into pets. Grandfather raised them for Bible and barbecue. Really for barbecue, the Bible part just happened because as soon as the blessing ended and dinner conversation started, we would end up talking about the Bible.My family didn’t abide by trophy sport. We ate what they killed, whether it be catfish or venison. When I say “we,” of course, I meant my grandfather and uncles because I couldn’t imagine anything more boring than hunting, except for fishing. Had we used dynamite, I might have changed my mind.I loved fireworks. I don’t mean watching them either. Fireworks were never as much fun as when we held them until the fuse was a fraction of a second away from igniting the powder, or throwing them between cars speeding down the highway. Had I known that the love of Jesus allowed me to combine fishing and fireworks, I might have spent my weekend on the lake instead of with the debate team.This may explain the perverse pleasure I take from playing Super Dynamite Fishing. You don’t have to fool with hooks and bait, rods and reels. You just blow fish out of the water. If nitro doesn’t flush them out soon enough I can drop a deep freezer over the bow, or electrocute them with a car battery.

Your objective is to win Rose’s heart by showering her with gifts no girl can resist, including caskets for her grandmother and dynamite soccer balls for her little brother.

The Super Dynamite Fishing storyline is simple. You are Joe, a professional fisherman who is in love with Rose, the pretty girl in the mansion. Every day you accept a new commission to collect different fish or test new fishing tools, and earn money to impress your girl. When you’ve upgraded your boat and are trained to use all the weapons properly, you can buy her candy and tickets to the monster truck rallies. With enough gifts and attention, she falls in love with you and moves from the mansion to your trailer to raise your rug rats.

Hooks? Bait? Real men use dynamite to fill their boats with huge hauls. They also carry bazookas and machine guns to shoot down birds who might steal the fish.

Courting success also opens up new fishing spots, including a toxic river with mutant fish and aliens. You will be able to tackle turtles, octopi and even Mr. T fish with bling. You will also have to master a variety of weapons, including smelly shoes to stun fish, raging bulls to stampede them, voodoo fish and sexy fish to attract the males with their sexy fish pheromones.My favorite is the surplus nuke from the Korean war that can kill and irradiate everything in the river.

The surplus nuke makes quick work of the entire fishing spot.

You also have to fend off pesky birds who like to fly away with the fish remains before you can scoop them into your boat. You can take them out with semi-automatics, bazookas and even remote control jets. The real key is to figure out which boat will give you the best balance of speed, cargo capacity and weapons storage.Bubba will love Super Dynamite Fishing. Elite liberal longhairs will love the kitsch animation and bad redneck jokes. The best part is that the elitists will be too dumb to know that Bubba won’t be in the least bit offended. The only thing Super Dynamite Fishing needs is more beer.

Jenny Manytoes rates Super Dynamite Fishing

Jenny Manytoes would make biscuits all over Super Dynamite Fishing, and not just because she wants to eat all those fish parts. She loves the noise, she loves the motion and she loves the insane fun. Super Dynamite Fishing is Bubba’s best buy.

The Jenny Manytoes Rating System

Jenny Manytoes, our polydactyl cat
  • When Jenny makes biscuits on a product she thinks she’s in heaven.
  • When Jenny purrs over a product she’s very happy.
  • When Jenny naps next to a product it’s okay with her.
  • When Jenny bunches her tail she can live with a product, but she has higher expectations.
  • When Jenny leaves it in the litter box….I don’t think I need to explain this one.

About Phillip T Stephens

Phillip T. Stephens disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle twenty years before he was born, creating a time travel paradox so confusing it remains unspoken between physicists and sci-fi writers to this day. Follow @stephens_pt
This entry was posted in 5 Stars + Best Buy, Arcade Games, Games, Sports, Time Wasters and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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