Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Pandas (no room left)

Spoiler alert! It seems slightly insulting to call Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Pandas HD an Angry Birds for Dummies. Especially since I’ve never reviewed Angry Birds, even though it made product placement on 30 Rock. Nonetheless, Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Pandas will be far more fun for players with a lower threshold for failure frustration and still challenge players who like solving tough problems.


If there were a contest for the longest game name name it would have to be between Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Pandas HD and Hamlet or the Last Game without MMORPG features, Shaders or Product Placement. Hamlet would win hands down, but Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Pandas HD (PNZP) is still a mouthful. The game is every bit as chaotic as the name sounds. In fact, it’s so long it left no room for a headline.

It isn’t a complete free-for-all, there are rules, but the levels refuse to build slowly on skills you’ve already mastered. Levels can throw challenges from left field, right field, behind the dugout and the center field bleachers.

The premise is simple: Shoot your allies from one or more cannons to destroy your enemies. Just make sure you don’t destroy other allies in the process. Here’s the catch: Your enemies are hiding behind any number of different battlements and you need to discover the structural weaknesses to knock them down. Different allies have different powers which makes them more suitable depending on the obstacle.

The challenge is to exploit the structural weaknesses that will cause the battlements to collapse around the enemies, and, hopefully, wiping them out. Just don’t cause any collateral damage by killing the good guys.

Beyond that, the game is a free for all. The enemies and allies change from round to round. You may have to fight ninjas with pandas or pandas with pirates.

The levels vary from relatively easy to extraordinarily challenging, and not necessarily in that order. Completing a level earns one to three stars, depending on how many allies you use and how quickly you wipe the enemy out. The more stars you collect the more enemies (with different opponents) you can play.

You start by facing the easier pandas and, as you earn more stars, you face pirates, then ninjas and finally zombies. If you need additional stars you can also practice with special Christmas and football matches that don’t need to be unlocked. The challenge is in the defenses the enemies erect to stop you. As far as I can tell, no one shoots back, but you can knock a bomb loose and kill your friends.

In these levels, the giant panda is the real weapon.The trick is to unleash the panda(s) to crush your opponents.

The good news is that you don’t have to clear a level to unlock the next. You simply have to play it. This allows you to build up stars on the rounds you can solve and still unlock new enemies, even if most of the levels stump you. Some players may not like this, and they can take on Angry Birds (which is far less forgiving). Players who aren’t used to physics based obstacle games will definitely prefer this.

The game is clearly geared for high school boy mentality, and many of the characters are quite puerile.1 Brain eating zombies explode, chef ninjas toss knives and, perhaps most disgusting, farting pandas propel themselves by….Do I really need to say?

The most obnoxious ally has to be the farting panda. Unlike ordinary pandas, touching will propel him in a new direction (although not always the one you want).

If you tried the free version of Angry Birds and didn’t get it, at least download the free version of PNZP to see if you like it better. And if you’ve played through all the levels of Angry Birds, Holiday Angry Birds, Vacation Angry Birds and the many other manifestations (some might say infestations), give this a whirl.

Jenny Manytoes rates Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies vs. Pandas HD

Jenny Manytoes would purr next to PNZP. It’s silly and obnoxious, but nonetheless enjoyable both to novices and players who like a challenge.


1As you can see, I can’t let go of the word “puerile,” which, in itself, may describe my own mentality. Thanks, Carol, for creating a vocabulary earwig.back


The Jenny Manytoes Rating System

Jenny Manytoes, our polydactyl cat

  • When Jenny makes biscuits on a product she thinks she’s in heaven.
  • When Jenny purrs over a product she’s very happy.
  • When Jenny naps next to a product it’s okay with her.
  • When Jenny bunches her tail she can live with a product, but she has higher expectations.
  • When Jenny leaves it in the litter box….I don’t think I need to explain this one.
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About Phillip T Stephens

Phillip T. Stephens disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle twenty years before he was born, creating a time travel paradox so confusing it remains unspoken between physicists and sci-fi writers to this day. Follow @stephens_pt
This entry was posted in 4 Stars - Purr, Arcade Games, Games, Puzzle Games and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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