Spoiler alert! Smurf’s Village is an irresistibly cute spin on social networking games like Farmville and We Rule. How long it remains irresistible will depend on your tolerance for cute.
Evidently the GOP’s pet in-house demon hunter and evangelist Cindy Jacobs has decided the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has caused an outbreak of
bird and fish deaths in Arkansas. Somewhere in the video is a link to Bill AntiChrist-and-Gene-Simmons-Impersonator Clinton who started the military down the road of outing gays and lesbians for everyone’s good.
Her science, evidently, is every bit as solid as the science debunking global warming and evolution, which most good Christians know is better science than the bleeding heart atheist scientists’ science.
Once Congress realizes her findings are accurate, they will no doubt direct gays and lesbians in the military back into hiding. Once that happens, the only thing those poor effeminate soldiers can do to express their secret urges is to play Smurf’s Village.
You may find this statement incredible, but trust me, if the Right hasn’t figured it out yet, a new Teletubbies epiphany will soon pop out of Pat Robertson’s head. Blue Danish fairy-like characters, who hang around in villages full of males with a Socrates-like white-bearded male leader and only one girl who flirts but never settles down?
Trust me, readers, those are all secret gay codes for, well, being gay. Even though I am now a tolerant Episcopalian by marriage, my Baptist Preacher’s Kid upbringing makes it impossible for me to overlook the obvious.
Why, readers might ask, why would I devote one more column to yet another social networking game? Because Smurf’s Village is kid friendly (or loaded with an anti-kid DODT agenda) meaning parents might want to give this game a second look.
The game is also pretty popular, with several cheats and walk-through guides available. And, all kidding aside, I found those little blue guys to be irresistible. At least until Level 12, when I started getting a little tired, and Level 19 when I finally had to fold up shop.
The formula for Smurf’s Village is standard. You buy plots of land, grow crops and use the revenues to buy smurf houses, smurf decorations and more shops. When your village gets big enough, you bridge the rivers and build more villages.
This is the standard social network gaming formula, plant crops, earn money, buy more stuff including more crops to plant. Smurf’s village, however, changes with the seasons. This is a nice wrinkle.
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Sooner or later you will also need to use smurf berries to add to your village, and smurf berries can only be acquired by spending real money. Which is only fair, of course, no one can expect a developer to really give his game away free.
Smurf’s Village differs from other social networking games by adding additional challenges with several of the buildings. You can add a potions shop to mix magic potions, a bakery and an art shop. Each shop adds a series of games with increasing difficulty (most of them difficult only for kids).
Smurf’s Village also adds mini-games, including cake baking and painting games.
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Many of the familiar smurf characters make appearances. Jokey Smurf leaves little gifts or jokes around, Hefty Smurf helps with buildings and Brainy Smurf designs quests. Almost every character I remember watching with my son shows up sooner or later to add a wrinkle to the game.
Like Adventure Bay, which I reviewed last Friday, Smurf’s Village also sends players on mini-quests. Players must complete each quest to earn rewards, level up and launch new quests.
The game also changes with the seasons. In the middle of winter, snow covered the ground and all of the decorations. The developers have made it clear the snow will disappear with the spring. I wouldn’t be surprised to see fall colors next October (should I continue to play).
And the smurfs are cute. This comes from a cynical reviewer in his fifties that thought the show was dumb when his five-year-old son insisted we watch every Saturday. There was just a limit to how much Papa Smurf and Gargamel I could suffer through.
If I have one complaint with Smurf’s Village, it’s the lack of an escape button to exit quests (without reward of course). I found all but one game pretty easy, but one, the cherry cakes, I never could master. I could continue to plant crops and go about my business, but the game loved to remind me that I still needed to bake the cherry cakes.
I’m sure if I applied myself, I could beat the quest and move on. But there are other games I would rather play, and even more games I need to review.
Will your kids love Smurf’s Village? It wouldn’t hurt to let them play (so long as they don’t know your Apple ID to pay for smurf berries). It’s as challenging as most adult games. Will you love it? It depends on how willing you are to indulge in childhood fantasy.
Jenny Manytoes rates Smurf’s Village
Jenny Manytoes would purr next to Smurf’s Village. It’s cute, it has a few wrinkles you wont find in your average social networking game, and—for a few levels at least—it can remind you of the games you played as a child.
If your favorite color is blue, it’s a must have.
The Jenny Manytoes Rating System
Jenny Manytoes, our polydactyl cat
- When Jenny makes biscuits on a product she thinks she’s in heaven.
- When Jenny purrs over a product she’s very happy.
- When Jenny naps next to a product it’s okay with her.
- When Jenny bunches her tail she can live with a product, but she has higher expectations.
- When Jenny leaves it in the litter box….I don’t think I need to explain this one.
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