Turkey Drop falls in it

Spoiler alert! Turkey drop is a one skill game, and pretty messy at that. The tilt mechanism is a little too slow and the game is fairly gross for holiday fare. This makes it a game for teen boys, who will find it engaging for a couple of hours before they return to the good games.

It’s the game day Friday before Thanksgiving and I wish I had something to offer in the way of engaging Thanksgiving games, but the Thanksgiving well is shallow and dry.

I suspect that if corporate advertisers could find a way to make Thanksgiving sexy, by that I mean promote more holiday-specific salable items than just turkeys and pumpkin pies, Thanksgiving would become more than a bus stop between Halloween and Christmas.

But there just aren’t any cool Thanksgiving activities. No Thanksgiving parties, no Thanksgiving gifts, no Thanksgiving costumes and no Thanksgiving action figures. We used to get Thanksgiving specials with Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney, but my kids don’t even know who they were.

Are they still alive? I don’t know and I don’t have the time for another web search. I think I read that Robert Goulet left the world. He was another one of those crooners who used to be featured with Julie Andrews on Thanksgiving specials.

Oh, come on. Surely you know Julie Andrews. The Sound of Music? No? How about Mary Poppins? That got a few of you, but no one twenty years younger than me. Mary Poppins has been replaced by Nanny McPhee, who, Carol assures me, is more like the real Mary Poppins than Julie Andrews ever was.

So we’re kind of stuck with Thanksgiving, which has become little more than a set up for the Detroit/Dallas NFL double-header and an excuse to tuck in early in order to get up at two a.m. for Black Friday.

No wonder there are no Thanksgiving day iPad games. Who’s going to care when they’re going to come home from Black Friday with the next killer (in fact murder, mayhem and massacre) game for the XBox 360.

So we’re left with Turkey Drop HD.

Shit in the pot

This may sound like a gratuitous and graphic headline, but it pretty much describes Turkey Drop HD because the one of the two objects of the game is to avoid getting shit in your cooking pot.

The screenshot below should sum the game up for you. You have to twist the iPad to move the pan to catch turkeys, vegetables or shit. I could write “poop” to avoid offending older readers who don’t think their kids should read the word “shit,” but the only readers it would bother are the parents because their kids hear the word “shit” twenty times in every movie they go to see.

What you see is the game. Catch turkeys or shit.

I also use it because “poop” is too polite to describe the experience of catching the shit in your pan. It’s pretty graphic.

The only instructions you get are a scorecard listing the point values of the turkeys and vegetables. Each time you catch the refuse, you lose five points. But it’s almost impossible to avoid.

Turkey Drop does provide a score card.

With no other directions it took me a moment to realize I was supposed to tilt the iPad to move the pot. I seems obvious, but since most games are touch-based (or touch and drag) it took me a moment to catch on.

Turkey Drop HD was created with Game Salad, which means the developer used a drag and drop interface to create the game. I have no problem with Game Salad, in fact it occurred to me that I should review it since it is a developer’s platform for iOS games. But in my experience games developed with second-level platforms tend to lose a bit on the performance side.

The Game Salad logo indicates the app wasn’t developed in native code format.

The HD in the name is also a bit of a misnomer. I think developers believe HD is synonymous with iPad, but I beg to differ. HD should indicate an extraordinary level of graphic display and performance. You won’t find that in Turkey Drop HD. The graphics are one step up from a South Park cartoon.

I don’t mean to imply that the graphics are bad. I think they are spot-on appropriate for Turkey Drop HD. I just don’t consider them to be HD.

The game can be engaging, it just takes a focus I don’t have. And the pot never seems to move as fast as the objects falling. With catch-the-falling-object games, the basket should speed up and slow down depending on the degree of the tilt, but I didn’t notice any significant change in speed. This made it difficult to get the pot where I needed it.

It would really be nice because you lose points for every object you don’t catch. So part of your strategy needs to be deciding which points to sacrifice.

You only have five minutes to catch objects and then the game ends. I played a dozen or so times and I never discovered if you successfully complete a level or if you just accumulate points until the clock winds down. In fact, I never even saw most of the vegetables, although I assume the higher the score the more varied the vegetables.

It would be nice to have some indication that there was an end point and maybe if I played long enough I would get there. But I have other apps to review that look more rewarding. It also bothers me that the game operates in only one of the four screen orientations. This is about as un-iPad like as an app can get.

As I said in the spoiler, I think Turkey Drop HD could keep younger teens interested for a couple of hours. To be honest, however, there are better games that are just as cheap or even cheaper.

Jenny Manytoes rates Turkey Drop HD

Jenny Manytoes would bunch her tail at Turkey Drop HD. If this were real shit, she would cover it with litter. But I think it will play well enough to the young teen boy demographic that I’m willing to rescue it from the litter box.

The Jenny Manytoes Rating System

Jenny Manytoes, our polydactyl cat
  • When Jenny makes biscuits on a product she thinks she’s in heaven.
  • When Jenny purrs over a product she’s very happy.
  • When Jenny naps next to a product it’s okay with her.
  • When Jenny bunches her tail she can live with a product, but she has higher expectations.
  • When Jenny leaves it in the litter box….I don’t think I need to explain this one.


About Phillip T Stephens

Phillip T. Stephens disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle twenty years before he was born, creating a time travel paradox so confusing it remains unspoken between physicists and sci-fi writers to this day. Follow @stephens_pt
This entry was posted in 2 Stars - Raised Tail, Arcade Games, Entertainment, Games, Seasonal and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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